from bintan to busyness.

I spent 4 days in Bintan over last weekend – Friday to Monday. Absolutely wonderful & I really didn’t want to come back home. I wanted the holiday to last longer! I went for massage after massage, till I got blue-blacks on my legs. I had an abundance of food, till I gave up on the last night & surrendered… My stomach could only take soup, salad & dessert. And I got drunk on a mighty glass of… frozen margarita. Hahaha.

I came back to pitch myself headfirst into a period of hectic busyness. Was involved in 2 NYU Tisch directing exercises today, and have been asked to be involved in another student’s project tomorrow. Audition after audition lined up. Booked for a bout of theatre that’s showing in The Substation in end-November. Asked to shoot another short film in end October. Booked for another wedding emcee job next Saturday.

All this in addition to my “jobby-jobs” – namely tuition & teaching. With 6 tuition students, among whom 3 are facing the PSLE, O Levels & A Levels this year, it’s no joke! Am also teaching two different Primary 4 classes.

At the same time, I’m attending a scene workshop with other actors & have to work on different scenes every week. Need to literally find time to attend the screenings & the plays I want to go for!

Going to watch “The Heavenly Kings” this Saturday at Sinema Old School & looking forward to the gathering after, but I’ve yet to find a friend to go along with me.

Planning to fly to Taiwan next year. Have to line up auditions & meetings beforehand. But I’m happy… busy, yet happy. A friend asked me: “How many hours do you have in a day?!” when he heard my hectic schedules. I said: “24 hours. The same as you, and Einstein, and Thomas Edison.” Haha.

suicide & redemption.

I spent my entire Sunday filming another short film, where I play the lead character, Liza, a girl who kills herself & regrets it later. She then has to redeem herself so as not to suffer for all eternity.

I’m looking forward to the final product, because the filming took a lot from me. It was a highly emotional & tiring film. Emotional not in terms of crying, because I’m not good at crying scenes yet, but because of the subject matter. Death & the thought of jumping off the ledge (even though I’m scared of heights!).

The night before, I was considering my role. And feared that I would really throw myself off the ledge. Haha. Especially in the midst of the 7th lunar month – even though I don’t believe in ghosts. But the shoot drained a lot out of me.

The awesome crew I got to work with

My Co-actor & friend, Sylvester, who recommended me for this role.

He knows the characters I play well – always dark, always seeking for hope.

Liza – rebellious & abused.

Jumping off the ledge – I did my own “stunt”.

But not before they laid a mattress for me.

Action movies – here I come! Haha.

We adjourned to another location, where I interacted with another character, a girl who was trying to commit suicide.

And while the director was setting up the shot, we were playing around. Good-naturedly, of course.

It was an enjoyable experience. But I’m in search of more acting projects. Had a conversation with a friend who advised me to go to Taiwan soon, since that is my dream. Hmmmm…. But I know that I cannot just fly there on a whim. I need to plan first.

If I fail to plan, I plan to fail.

Someone said that I need an agent before I go there. But I know that “If it is to be, it’s up to me.” I know I need to plan, but what should I plan to do?

i hope i don’t jump off the ledge.

Having a shoot later today – whole day. Filming a Puttnam School student film called “Redemption” & I’m playing the female lead, Liza. Gonna have a suicide scene tomorrow & I keep having this feeling that I’m gonna really leap off the ledge.

must get this thought out of my mind!

It’s the 7th month – Hungry Ghost Festival – and I’m filming this suicide short film. Haha. Anyway I don’t believe in ghosts & I will continually pray in tongues to keep the evil spirits away from me! *Laura starts muttering in tongues* haha.

Anyway, it’s considered work ‘cos I’m getting paid for this student film. PTL.

Had a stage play audition today. Was late ‘cos my phone hanged at 7:30a.m. & I only realised it at 9:30a.m.! Thank God I was only 20 minutes late.

Oh yes, the “Silence of the Lambs” scene work session went really well. Producer-director Malcolm Young, the invited “teacher” that day, commented that I gave a nice performance & gave me one or two pointers. Happy I’m going back to do Scene Work next week with another actress… Looking for a suitable scene now.

But I better get to bed soon. Before I really jump off the ledge tomorrow. *ahhhhh*

dare to lust.

Near the end of July, I played the lead role – Chanel – in a student short film done by the Ngee Ann Polytechnic students. The shoot lasted over three days, and we filmed at various parts of the Ngee Ann Poly campus – at the carpark, the Halo Bar & The Loft (student & staff lodgings). I rarely participate in student short films nowadays, but this role was interesting so I decided to give it a try.

Synopsis:
Ben is in search of his long-lost sister, Ying Ying. After saving Chanel from a drunkard, both are instantly attracted to each other. They spend the night together. As fate would have it, some things don’t come too easy. What would you do if the person you’re sleeping with is your own sister?

I only remembered to bring my camera during the last day of filming, which also happened to contain the most interesting scenes – haha. So, let the pictures give you a taste of the story.

On set at The Loft – Chanel’s (My) Apartment

One of the loves of my life

The crew & Director (in black)

Slate!

Busy, busy, busy. Lights, Camera, Action!

Doesn’t it look like a studio set? But it’s not!

Okay, here’s a preview of the scene we were filming…

And the night scene…

At the end of the day…

With my co-star, Val.

Filming another short film this coming Sunday – “Suicide”. Still auditioning for other roles. Went for two auditions last Saturday – and met one of my fave directors, Joshua Tan, at his audition for his new short films. Woo! I think the auditions went well.. Preparing for another audition this Sat.

Also, I’m preparing for a scene workshop with a few other actors tomorrow night. I’ll be workshopping a scene from “Silence of the Lambs“. Looking forward to it!

I love my life.

Donnie Yen took 26 years to attain leading man status. Even though I hope I don’t take that long, but I plan to make this my lifelong career as well. がんばって！

summer girls – 1999.

This song brings back MEMORIES!!
It was my absolute favourite song back in 1999.

P.S. I wear Abercrombie & Fitch. Hehe.

programming my subconscious.

“Consult not your fears, but your hopes & your dreams.
Think not about your frustrations,
but about your unfulfilled potential.
Concern yourself not with what you tried & failed in,
but with what is still possible for you to do.”
- Pope John XXIII -

Focus on who I am, and be the best ‘me‘ I can be.
I decide to succeed.
My life is dependent on what I do.

listing your successes. listing happy things.

Read an actors’ handbook today, which encouraged me to list my successes. So I can build on them. Listened to the radio, and the DJ encouraged us to list 3 happy things at the end of every day, so it can bring more happiness to us.

So here goes…

My Happy Things Today
1. Visited the Art Museum – got in touch with my creative side!
2. My SCGS kids enjoyed today’s class (I think!), even though it was early in the morn
3. Got into the Actors’ Scene workshop & the Director who’s working with us next week is Malcolm Young – cool! he’s in the midst of developing feature films in S’pore!

Successes I Remembered Today
1. Awesome monologue I did for my last Performance Prac in Lasalle 2 years ago… I found the monologue script again!
2. Kicking a** in Cubik production & loving it.

Working on my career. Endless self-promotion – that’s something I need to brush up on. Be thick-skinned!

Ending the day happily.

strawberry on the shortcake.

When you eat a strawberry shortcake, do you eat the strawberry first, or do you leave it to the last? Do you enjoy your favourite parts first, because you’re afraid someone else will take it from you? Or do you enjoy it last, BECAUSE it is your favourite?

Two different life philosophies. Two different kinds of people. A love story. Growing to know who the real you is. A 2001 Japanese 10-episode drama series… Starring my favourite Jap actor – Takizawa Hideaki – together with Kyoko Fukada, Rina Uchiyama & Youko Kubozuka.

I think those who take the strawberry first tend to allow themselves to enjoy life to the fullest before considering the consequences & the feelings of other people. Those who take the strawberry last probably prefer to go through hardship, then finally allow themselves some form of enjoyment.

So would you eat the strawberry first or last?

Honestly speaking, I would probably eat it first. Haha.

But it’s an awesome show… and I really recommend it. It can be really straightforward at times, and cause even the audience to think about who they really are – who the real person inside is, what the real person inside cares about.

Watch it at: http://www.mysoju.com/strawberry-on-the-shortcake/

preparation, focus… a sense of purpose.

“If something is not happening for you,
it doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen.
It means you’re not ready for it.”
- Unknown -

Spent some time in His presence last Friday and offered up my dreams to Him. Let go of my dreams… Offered him my talents, my gifts, my treasures. A time of breaking…Coming to the end of my tether, which means I need to cling on to Him. Otherwise, I really cannot persevere on anymore. Such a struggle – clinging on to a dream that seems so impossible, but not being able to give up because of that still small voice – telling me there is something more.

What, Lord? What more is there?

I long to be in Taiwan. I long to make this my long-term career.
I am an actress – a professional actress. No longer a struggling wannabe.

But He tells me there is something more.

So I gave it all up to Him & put it in His hands. No longer my dream, my vision… but His dream, His vision, His purpose for me. We’re in this together, and if His vision in me has to come to pass, we have to work together. I’ll do what I can do, to the extent of my human ability… but He gives me supernatural strength, favour from men & open doors – things beyond my control.

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”
- Walt Disney -

Discipline – physical, mental & spiritual. Investing my talents & gifts.
Focus & preparation.

The journey is tough… but before I can receive the blessings, I must be ready for it.

my little bride.

I watched “My Little Bride” (어린 신부) today.

Largely because I’m cooped up at home, recovering from a bout of flu. Also because I’m inspired to watch more Asian films, to immerse myself more in acting & different cultures.

I chose this Korean movie because it stars my one & only favourite Korean star – Kim Rae Won. He’s absolutely entertaining to watch & I loved watching him in other Korean dramas like “Attic Cat” & “Love in Harvard”. This movie is about an arranged marriage between a new student teacher & his childhood friend. The twist is that this childhood friend is younger than him – a 15-year-old high school student to be exact.

Romance. One of my most favourite genres… *swoons*

If you want to catch this movie, you can watch it online here: http://www.mysoju.com/my-little-bride/